Quien es mas macho?

Here it is, week 11 of the 2009 NFL season, and Mumia Abu-Jamal still sits on death row, sent there by the hetero-normative white patriarchy that runs our criminal INjustice system.  Even more INjust is the fact that Bill Belichick was unable to challenge an obviously sexist call made by a cadre of corporatized old white men on fourth-and-one last Sunday, because he had to burn all of his timeouts slowing down the gang rape that is the Colts’ hurry-up offense. ‘No’ means ‘No’!  This was a real shame, because Abort for Africa—a womyn’s collective that knits scarves and sells them to fund free abortion clinics in sub-Saharan Africa, and of which I am the only openly male member—had this entire quarter’s earnings down on the Patriots to win at 1.5 to 1.    Unfortunately, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld’s next rape safari to Rwanda will not be countered with the free gynecological care, family planning services, and penis fly traps that this worthy charity provides.

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Owning a football team means you are sweet. Being able to pull off wearing a powder blue suit means you are sweet. Flipping people off is sweet.

Doing all three things at once means you are pretty much a master.

Found here and sent to me by my buddy Jasmyn

Traditional family values will win out over the sodomists from Seattle this Sunday.

That Arab foreigner in the White House sure has muslimed up the prospects for a happy holiday season this year.  I was hoping to give my girl the H3 Hummer for Christmas, but thanks to the vaccine shortage and jobless economic recovery, it seems more likely that I’ll be giving her the H1N1 virus!  Swine flu!  Also, I don’t know about you, but with the specter of socialist death panels looming, I don’t feel comfortable spending my rock-hard-earned cash on an expensive Butterball turkey this year.  Maybe we all ought to get together in the spirit of Thanksgiving and roast us up a big, black, gay Muslim foreigner turkey instead!  Tea bags!! Double exclamation points!!!  Anyway, before we go FULL commie and Obama builds a new Berlin wall betwixt us and freedom*, we better get our bets down for the Week 10 NFL action!!!!

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(Sorry this is the wrong video, it’s the making of the sequence I discussed, if I can find the finished product I’ll put it here)

For something like 20 years now Hank Williams has been working for Disney/ABC/ESPN redoing weekly versions of “all my rowdy friends are coming over tonight” as the intro to monday night football.  He made a pro Mccain/Palin version of the song last November also.  Along with “I’m proud to be an American” it’s maybe the unofficial anthem of our country.

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First look at this t-shirt (click to view closer):

Then answer this question that Phil and I have been arguing about: Did Jesus tap?

The Baseball Hall of Fame turns 70 today.  Who is the greatest player ever?  Should Pete Rose, Barry Bonds, and other disgraced players be included in the HOF?  Is it fair that Kobe Bryant most likely raped a girl and will still easily make the Basketball HOF, while Bonds, Manny and others who did steroids may very well not make it into Baseball’s HOF?

Discuss…

The Chiba Lotte Marines are using these retro movie-style posters depicting the home team defending the city from attack by villainous monster opponents.

See more at the always awesome Pink Tentacle!

Last night, Houston Rockets backup center Dikembe Mutombo injured his knee.  Knee injuries happen all the time but Mutombo is 43, the oldest guy in the NBA.  He retired immediately after the game, saying that he cried while he was on the floor in pain, realizing that it was all over.  Mutombo has earned his living the last 18 years playing professional basketball while devoting his life to humanitarian efforts.  His foundation built a hospital in the Congo, named after his mother, who died of malaria.  By all accounts he’s a wonderful guy which is rare enough in the regular world but especially in professional sports.

About fifteen years ago when I was just a kid, I watched Mutombo lead a really shoddy Denver team to a playoff upset of #1 ranked Seattle.  He fell to the floor in joy.  It seemed impossible.  When I hear “Mutombo crying on the floor” or even “Mutombo” this is what I’d like to remember, not that first pic.  I found out you can donate $5 to his foundation by texting “congo” to 90999,  so I did it.  I’ll be sad when everybody who I watched as a kid is gone from professional sports with hobbled knees.

More (and better written) Mutomb-preciation c/o Complex, Can’t Stop the Bleeding and The Houston Chronicle.

The Knicks’ current season has been very disappointing to me.

Every year for 9 years has been an exercise in lowering expectations, only to have those lowered expectations lowered again and then again and then again every year. Why do I continue to subject myself to this? What possible benefit can come in me watching basketball games, reading about the team, going to games on the rare occasions that I’ve had the chance to go to Madison Square Garden and devoting a small piece of my brain to the Knicks, who always fall short?

I even supported ex-Knick Bill Bradley in his presidential primary vs. Al Gore, despite the fact that he has creepy eyebrows. He also fell short. Part of my brain cares, even though I don’t know any of the players on the team personally and they’ll all be gone by the time the Knicks start to win anyways.

Maybe I should just quit entirely and give up following basketball and get on with my life. You know, put away childish things and devote the freed up time and energy to write a novel, bake a cake or volunteer for Amnesty International. [Read more →]