Mark does human kind a service
Gather ’round kids, for today is a tale of a review of a review of a book. A book that has spurred a crazy fandom that apparently call themselves Twihards. Yes, I’m talking about Twilight. Their level of dedication to the series is both fascinating and weird and almost inspired me to borrow the books to read and see what the deal was about. But luckily for me, a very awesome gentleman by the name of Mark had decided to review the books, chapter by chapter for everyone. Everyone can follow here through Twilight and into New Moon, which is the second book in the series.
I’m not even sure where to start with Mark’s review. It’s both amazingly entertaining, (the first chapter review has an Xhibit meme!) and yet, horribly saddening at what the youths are fawning over. The quality of Stephenie Meyer’s writing is also extremely horrible , judging by the passages and quotes posted as examples for us. I’m not any sort of writer but even I know basic sentence structure, grammar rules and that you can’t really just write away giant holes in your plot. However, as much as Mark wants to kill himself before reviewing another chapter, he still manages to soldier on and entertain us with this current incarnation of literature. Mark’s style of reviewing will keep you coming back, especially with all the lovely MS Paint pictures and the occasional coroner’s report. So if you ever need a very good laugh or just want a way to kill time, go read Mark’s review of the Twilight series. You can even just click through the chapters and look at the pictures! Bravo Mark, for suffering all this pain that would have surely caused me to light the book on fire, I give you 
. Now please finish New Moon so I can take more pleasure in your pain.
→ 5 comments so far ↓
1
MissBella
// Oct 13, 2009 at 9:08 am
Hilarious!
I am a Twilight hater from the start, so when everyone told me I HAD to read the book and watch the movie let me just say that I couldn’t get passed page 11 because it sucked so bad and my eyes hurt real bad after the movie.
Also, Twilight has ruined my life by making everyone think I changed my name to be more like Bella. Her actual name in the book is Isabella, so who’s the real poser here eh???
2
phil
// Oct 13, 2009 at 10:28 am
As a former schoolteacher I am happy that the kids are reading a book at all. I haven’t read the books or seen the movie but I think we should let them have their fun. It’s not like they don’t get fucked with enough at school for knowing how to read already. I like some stupid things also, and by “some” I mean “all” .
3
Efbystereo
// Oct 13, 2009 at 11:04 am
Wow! mark is awesome, I saw him at the fair. I love the review of a review!!!!! that is amazing! Twilight is such a piece of shit.
4
jake
// Oct 13, 2009 at 11:11 am
@Phil: I’m not so sure you’d agree if you knew about all of the wrong-headed messages this series is passing onto our nation’s youth.
I’d prefer they all played DOOM instead of reading these books.
5
Stace
// Oct 13, 2009 at 11:26 am
@phil I’ll give the author props for getting a generation of teens to read. Did you know there are exactly 319 ‘vampire books for teens’ on Amazon.com you can now get? Granted some are written before Twilight’s time. Hopefully this will encourage them to read real works of literature.
Also to Jake’s point, see chapter 14′s review about why it’s horrible that teen girls are now lusting after a guy who make it seem it’s ok to be abusive to someone you like. http://markreadstwilight.buzznet.com/user/journal/4469721/mark-reads-twilight-chapter-14/
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