About a year ago I moved into an apartment in SF that has some problems.   It’s in an old building in the Inner Richmond that’s fallen into disrepair.  I can’t really move out because I did the math and figured out that living there instead of getting a new apartment adds up to a $20k/yr difference.  That’s real money, to me at least.  Probably what the apartment needs is to be demolished.  I decided what I need is to do my level best to fix it.

McCulloch MC-1275 Heavy Duty Steam Cleaner is a major part of my plan to fix up the apartment.  I’d used steam cleaners before, but nothing of this size and power.  FOr those of you who don’t know, a steam cleaner shoots hot, pressurized steam at things.  This jet of vapor disintegrates and sterilizes mold, removes wallpaper, and fixes everything in your life.  The best part is that you don’t need to use any bleach or chemicals.  It’s just water.  Now, personally I’d mix bleach and ammonia and let it stew in the goddamn kitchen sink all day if it’d remove hard water stains.  I’d scrub with a crude mixture of mercury and uranium-238 if it could clean metal surfaces so they look brand new.  But that stuff doesn’t work.  Steam does.

I got mine from Amazon for about $100.  Now,there are cheaper steam cleaners, like the Scunci SS1000 handheld (which is an okay machine but compared to the McCulloch is a child’s toy).  I don’t think you’ll find a better one.  The McCulloch is legit:  It goes to war with filth.  It’s annihilated my bathroom already, brooking no opposition and leaving no doubt.  Soon, my whole apartment will be subjected to the purifying steam of cleanliness.  Even as I type this, it’s heating up another 32 ounces of vapor.

Which is preliminary and subject to change we’ll see how I feel about it in two weeks.  It’s changed my life for the better, fixed every problem I had and turned me from a mild-mannered man into a steam blasting cyborg.  I imagine it could also be used for self defense during a home invasion also, if it didn’t take 20 minutes of prep to boil the water.