Question #327 Scheme

posted July 7th by phil

What is your get-rich-quick scheme?

[Note: This is an idea registry. All ideas listed in comments are the property of their owners.]

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category: a very serious question

→ 113 answers so far ↓

  • 1 lauren b. // Jul 7, 2008 at 12:45 pm

    i dont have one yet, but my mom is getting kind of senile and decided she wanted to create a Hispanic Cosby Show, with her family acting. She thinks this will be a big hit.

  • 2 beth // Jul 7, 2008 at 1:45 pm

    i had a pretty good idea (not a scheme) but someone already did it.

  • 3 heypal // Jul 7, 2008 at 1:51 pm

    see my last comment under ‘Uncontacted (23).’

  • 4 phil // Jul 7, 2008 at 1:54 pm

    the beef jerky steering wheel

  • 5 prof. fancy pants // Jul 7, 2008 at 2:13 pm

    420-o’s. just like cheerios, but with fours and twos. special promotional boxes would have green marshmallows. as for the box cover, imagine the look on the persons face holding the spoon that has the 4-2-0 floating in milk. killer nugs, bro!

  • 6 beth // Jul 7, 2008 at 3:40 pm

    @ phil: “Because driving should be delicious.”

  • 7 alison // Jul 7, 2008 at 4:14 pm

    Bribery…

  • 8 hadas // Jul 7, 2008 at 5:37 pm

    I’m writing from warped tour new orleans, and I can say for certain that unless you’re a former member of blink182, warped tour is certainly not a good get-rich-quick plan. plus there’s a lack of showers, meaning everyone is broke AND stinky, my least favorite combo.

  • 9 zachary // Jul 7, 2008 at 5:57 pm

    @ hadas: what do you do on the warped tour?
    since last year i’ve been dreaming of getting an internship on the warped tour (if thats even possible).

  • 10 dano // Jul 7, 2008 at 6:53 pm

    @hadas: Damn, I live in NO and I’m kickin it with my homey who does sound on WT. Small world.

    I don’t have a get rich quick scheme.

  • 11 Tiffany! // Jul 7, 2008 at 9:16 pm

    1)marry rocket scientist
    2)be nice until the money starts rolling in

  • 12 hadas // Jul 8, 2008 at 11:38 am

    i take photographs and make videos. i also say good morning to everyone i see, and i drink water out of cans. i also spend a lot of time worrying about whether or not i’m going to moan or snore when i sleep in a room that i share with 12 dudes. and i apparently lose a lot of money at blackjack at harrah’s new orleans.

  • 13 beth // Jul 8, 2008 at 2:46 pm

    @tiffany: nice.

  • 14 J-Dogg // Jul 9, 2008 at 8:40 am

    I don’t really have a get rich quick scheme. I’ve made a little money through the years, I just never seem to be able to keep it forever. Once I get a little farther ahead, I should invest in a Roth IRA or something like that. Some people have told me I should write a book. Perhaps I’ll just get a sugar mama, and trade my body for monetary reimbursement.

  • 15 Joe // Jul 9, 2008 at 4:33 pm

    Since Phil broke out his oldie but goodie I will break out mine:

    “Married but looking kit”

    It consists of a special ring to wear at night on your married finger that has a chemical to lighten the skin underneath it. That way when you go to bars you have a “tan” line as if you have just slipped off your wedding ring. The girls/dudes will see it as a cue that you are there to really party.

  • 16 stefan // Jul 10, 2008 at 5:51 am

    Marrying a single mom without a job.

  • 17 jake // Jul 16, 2008 at 10:42 am

    The Cool Ranch-flavored soft drink.

  • 18 phil // Jun 26, 2009 at 3:30 pm

    Either Chorizon Wireless, Whorizon Wireless or Verizon’t Wirelessn’t. Whichever is stupidest.

  • 19 phil // Jun 26, 2009 at 3:51 pm

    These may seem old hat to you and half of the profits have to go to Joe for most of them but:

    Fantasy Football – It’s football with a fantasy theme. I just checked and according to wikipedia , we’re a little late on this one. If it was played live in person maybe it would be different.

    Fantasy Fantasy Football – you draft and rank fantasy football players in various public leagues based on how you think they will play.

    Football Fantasy – You play football in real life but your playing of it is based on stats somehow.

    Fantasy Role Playing – You draft a team of fantasy role playing game players and keep stats on them over the course of their campaign.

    Fantasy Football – You fantasize about playing football.

    Football Football – An actual football game that takes place inside of another football game.

    Football Football Football – Pretty similar to the last idea with a small difference you should be able to figure out yourself.

    Fantasy Fantasy Fantasy – Some combination of stats, imagination and orcs. Hey I’m just the idea man, you figure it out.

    Fantastical Football – this is when football players do superhuman feats, like predict an eclipse or fly

    Fantasy Football – like regular except the winner is the team with the best stats in one of several European soccer leagues

    Football Fantasy Football – I could do this all day, man.

  • 20 phil // Jun 26, 2009 at 3:57 pm

    I was going to suggest manbabies.com but Joe just showed me that someone else is currently getting rich off of it.

  • 21 Joe // Jun 26, 2009 at 4:08 pm

    you forgot “Fancy Football” which is just like regular football but in full dress.

  • 22 beth // Jun 26, 2009 at 4:18 pm

    omg manbabies.com just made my jaw drop and my brow furrow. bah!

  • 23 Joe // Jun 26, 2009 at 5:09 pm

    Yeah manbabies.com made me give a little girlish shriek and then cower in the corner for 15 minutes.

  • 24 phil // Jun 30, 2009 at 10:45 am

    A matchmaking service for aspiring rappers or people who want to be famous on the internet where they can find someone to feud with to gain attention for themselves.

  • 25 phil // Jul 27, 2009 at 3:34 pm

    the pudding press
    crouton futon

    Ideas I stole:

    condoms for dogs (jake)
    mobile jack-shacks (donovan)
    oatmeal totes (jake)
    thousand island dressing made with blood and mayonnaise mixed in the chef’s mouth after he cuts his tongue
    fruit roll up sheets for your bed that you roll up from a refillable dispenser at the foot of the bed

  • 26 Dannikins // Jul 27, 2009 at 4:09 pm

    I was going to revolutionize the dumb screwing and unscrewing of the tv antenna connection to the back of the tv way back when, by using push-pin handles with springs on the inside of the tv, thereby preserving the integrity of millions of butter knives. That was about 25 seconds before somebody changed it all to coaxial.

  • 27 phil // Oct 7, 2009 at 11:33 am

    trademarking “whiners can’t be winners”

  • 28 phil // Oct 8, 2009 at 1:02 pm

    Manufacturing and marketing “Jizzragz” which are specialized luxury towels. If you want to know more, contact my lawyer.

  • 29 phil // Oct 19, 2009 at 10:08 am

    Solar powered eco-jack shacks (50% ownership with Joe)

  • 30 phil // Oct 19, 2009 at 10:26 am

    A website full of impractical inventions of business ideas, but it already exists:

    http://www.halfbakery.com/

  • 31 phil // Oct 20, 2009 at 11:08 am

    Joe’s idea for a record shaped rug, so that you can discuss things on or off the record.

  • 32 phil // Oct 21, 2009 at 10:47 am

    Counterfeit “I voted!” and “Ya Voté” stickers that non-voters can buy.

  • 33 beth // Oct 21, 2009 at 10:56 am

    OMG Halfbakery is awesome!

    The custard filled speed bump is the best!

    http://www.halfbakery.com/idea/Custard-Filled_20Speed_20Bumps#1256045841

    Sample:
    “For blatant speeding > 70MPH, the hump would burst showering the offending vehicle with incriminating custard.”

  • 34 Joe // Oct 21, 2009 at 11:01 am

    phil we are going to get MF rich on the counterfeit I voted stickers.

    Also sweet would be 100% Certified Organic stickers to put on your food at home.

  • 35 phil // Oct 21, 2009 at 11:11 am

    Fake bumper stickers that say your car runs on vegetable oil. I can smell the money already!

  • 36 Joe // Oct 21, 2009 at 12:28 pm

    Artificial additive to make your coffee taste a little suckier so you can say it is “fair trade”.

    Phil, what are you going to do with your profits? I am buying some stuff on amazon right now on credit.

  • 37 Joe // Oct 21, 2009 at 12:30 pm

    Oh also fake “my child beat up your honor role student” stickers for parents of wimpy kids to buy.

  • 38 phil // Oct 21, 2009 at 1:35 pm

    Fake “visualize world peace” bumper stickers for people who don’t want you to visualize world peace.

  • 39 phil // Oct 27, 2009 at 5:10 pm

    Dry erase t-shirt.

  • 40 Joe // Oct 28, 2009 at 7:21 am

    nice try, NOT!

    http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts-apparel/unisex/generic/9505/

  • 41 beth // Oct 28, 2009 at 11:40 am

    OMG! I WANT THAT SHIRT!

  • 42 phil // Nov 6, 2009 at 2:37 pm

    A fake yoga mat that is really just a hollow cylinder and you can carry it around affluent areas to meet women.

  • 43 beth // Nov 6, 2009 at 2:48 pm

    because a reg. yoga mat is too heavy?

  • 44 phil // Nov 6, 2009 at 2:50 pm

    No, because it’s important to be dishonest.

  • 45 jon // Nov 6, 2009 at 2:52 pm

    It’s dishonest to carry around a yoga mat you have no intention of using.

  • 46 jason // Nov 17, 2009 at 12:40 am

    idea #1: adult diapers that come in a box that looks like a case of beer.
    idea #2: adult diapers that come in a box that looks like a case of beer even though it only has a twelver in it.

  • 47 Joe // Nov 17, 2009 at 2:18 am

    Welcome to the club Jason. The soon-to-be-rich club.

  • 48 Joe // Nov 17, 2009 at 2:21 am

    False “Juggs” and “Leg Show” covers for you to put outside of your Mother Jones and Economist magazines so you can read them on the plane without feeling embarrassed.

  • 49 Joe // Nov 17, 2009 at 2:22 am

    Phil, the false yoga mat should be filled with chilli-cheese. There should be a little om symbol on the bottom that disguises a dispenser tap.

  • 50 jason // Nov 17, 2009 at 9:46 am

    the amazing racist, the reality game show where bigots pair up and compete for cash and prizes around the globe.

  • 51 jason // Nov 17, 2009 at 9:47 am

    i think i might have stolen that idea, sorry.

  • 52 phil // Nov 17, 2009 at 9:51 am

    Don’t worry Jason, if it’s not here on this page, it doesn’t belong to them.

  • 53 jason // Nov 17, 2009 at 9:52 am

    nacho cheese: the movie! starring eva mendes

  • 54 phil // Nov 17, 2009 at 10:18 am

    Tetris: the movie! starring Eliot Spitzer as himself

  • 55 beth // Nov 17, 2009 at 11:06 am

    @Phil….so would Elliot be doing something like this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-0hVsE0zpw

  • 56 Joe // Nov 17, 2009 at 11:07 am

    A triple pack of:
    Ever-dri Super Absorbant Novelty Condom
    Magic Vanishing Rice-paper Novelty Condom
    “You’ve got crabs!” Novelty Condom with hidden body lice eggs

    “won’t your friends be surprised”

  • 57 phil // Nov 17, 2009 at 11:11 am

    No, Eliot plays a guy who runs a warehouse and it’s the busiest day of the year so all these irregular shaped boxes are coming in and he has to tell the forklift guys how to arrange the boxes in stacks. They keep coming in faster and faster until he is overwhelmed. Russian music plays the whole time also.

  • 58 jake // Nov 17, 2009 at 4:19 pm

    Dog condoms.

  • 59 jason // Nov 17, 2009 at 4:35 pm

    dog abstinence.

  • 60 jason // Nov 17, 2009 at 4:40 pm

    i just remembered my avatar is an adorable pet dog and i would like to rescind my last comment and let it be known that i disapprove of any form of dog contraception.

  • 61 phil // Nov 17, 2009 at 4:41 pm

    Good, cause the next logical step was canine dental dams and I’m glad no one took it to that level.

  • 62 Joe // Nov 18, 2009 at 1:28 am

    How about fake balls for your neutered dog so he doesn’t feel embarrassed. Wait those already…? For real? I guess somebody else is getting rich. Quick.

  • 63 Joe // Nov 18, 2009 at 1:29 am

    How about a larger sized dental dam-like rubber cloth for you to put on your face when dogs lick you?

  • 64 Joe // Nov 18, 2009 at 5:10 am

    An audio cassette you can play in your house that makes it sound like you are constantly telling your wife that the breakfast is sorry, telling your kids that you wish they were never born, and kicking your dog, when in reality you have a good family.

  • 65 Joe // Nov 18, 2009 at 5:13 am

    Cards that can be used along with an hour’s honest work to get $9.79 free. To be handed out to able bodied adults begging for change.

  • 66 Joe // Dec 1, 2009 at 2:44 am

    A small motor that you can attach to your plug in electric car that does two things: 1) Allows you to go to gas stations to fill up like a regular person. 2) Makes a throaty roar when you step on the gas.

  • 67 phil // Dec 4, 2009 at 9:51 am

    Muppet meat. It’s tuna fish but you sell it to kids by implying that it’s ground up Muppets. Grover from Sesame Street is on the package.

  • 68 beth // Dec 4, 2009 at 4:00 pm

    gross.

  • 69 beth // Dec 4, 2009 at 4:07 pm

    @ phil http://video.aol.com/video-detail/eating-muppets/3865632416

  • 70 beth // Dec 4, 2009 at 4:09 pm

    Also: http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1290&dat=19960106&id=jEsQAAAAIBAJ&sjid=go4DAAAAIBAJ&pg=2131,1239190

  • 71 Joe // Dec 7, 2009 at 5:39 am

    Note: From further dialogue with Phil, his above idea was amended to possibly have some sort of potted beef rather than tuna in the cans.

    Idea: A portable “Iron Lung” so that you don’t have to breathe yourself when you want to really relax.

    Idea, modified: An “Iron Lung” attachment to be used with the sitting scooters at Wal-Mart. It would be cool because, finally, you can shop without all of the hassle of walking or breathing for yourself.

  • 72 phil // Dec 9, 2009 at 3:38 pm

    Tommy Habeeb, the creator of “cheaters” came up with this while we slept:

    http://www.babysportonline.com/

  • 73 phil // Dec 9, 2009 at 3:39 pm

    Also Lady Gaga stole my muppet butchering idea here:

    http://lh4.ggpht.com/_c2eHHmBm_pY/SmaiCsvvhFI/AAAAAAAAGBw/7Ndbl7tJqaQ/s800/Lady-GaGa-Kermit-the-Frog.jpg

  • 74 phil // Dec 29, 2009 at 10:25 pm

    Nick 1,000,000 had an idea: false positive pregnancy tests.

    Also is there already a bar called “prehab”? if not then that’s my idea.

  • 75 Joe // Jan 7, 2010 at 7:13 am

    I think if we could come up with something good and catchy to put on a sign that would help panhandlers get more money, we could get rich the way the “why lie I need a beer” or “anything helps, even a smile” guy did.

    We need do come up with the next “My girlfriend got kidnapped and I’m 78¢ short of the ransom.”

    We could maybe seed our ideas by leaving a few cardboard signs with it written on it at key areas. Once people see how successful the people are who first used our “seed signs” they will be knocking down our door to get some for themselves.

  • 76 phil // Jan 7, 2010 at 8:12 am

    A device for the toilet that makes your shit into star or square shapes, like the play doh attachments.

  • 77 phil // Jan 8, 2010 at 9:54 am

    stolen from my coworker: books by fax.

  • 78 Joe // Jan 12, 2010 at 1:32 am

    @phil, your co-worker is a genius, no doubt. But by accidentally letting you know he idea he has made himself the Tesla to our Edison.

  • 79 Joe // Jan 13, 2010 at 5:32 am

    Ok, there was recently a horrible tragic earthquake in Haiti. They have set up a special number you can text message to donate 10 dollars from your phone bill http://www.state.gov/p/wha/ci/ha/index.htm

    The code is “90999″ and you text the word “Haiti” to make the donation.

    How does this get us rich you ask? We register the code 990999 and wait for the $$ to start rolling in when people dial the wrong number. Its a win-win-lose: Win for us, we get $$; win for the person, they get the self-satisfaction of benevolence; lose for the Haitians but they have lost so much already they probably won’t notice.

    This one is can’t fail I think. I am going to buy a tub of nacho cheese with a small fraction of my earnings.

  • 80 phil // Feb 4, 2010 at 11:16 am

    Jake, you need to lower the price for dog condoms or get a celebrity endorsement or something or pabsforpets will take over:

    http://www.pabsforpets.com/

  • 81 jake // Feb 4, 2010 at 11:30 am

    I think the solution is more a question of marketing. PABs keep dogs from having sex;* Dog-Cons allow them to enjoy worry-free consensual sex.

    *Not counting oral, anal or mutual masturbation, obv.

  • 82 beth // Feb 4, 2010 at 11:42 am

    are pabs for real?! BAH!

  • 83 jon // Feb 5, 2010 at 10:24 am

    PABS are real bad. Dogs that don’t get fixed are full of health problems

  • 84 MissBella // Feb 5, 2010 at 10:31 am

    Phil your poo idea is great. I think it would best sell with women. You know how everyone is always surprised that girls poo or something? Well now girls don’t have to hide and hold it in because it’s gonna come out pretty!

  • 85 phil // Feb 5, 2010 at 1:18 pm

    Dippin’ Dots Salad

  • 86 beth // Feb 5, 2010 at 1:33 pm

    Dippin’ Dots Toaster Strudel seems more likely to sell.

  • 87 jon // Feb 5, 2010 at 1:42 pm

    Dippin Dots Hot Wings

  • 88 beth // Feb 5, 2010 at 2:18 pm

    @jon are the wings dipped into the dots or are they breaded with them and then dipped into something else?

  • 89 jon // Feb 5, 2010 at 2:38 pm

    @beth i’m thinking the wings are dipped into a dot dippin sauce. it would fix my only issue with wings, the mess factor. I often don’t order wings because I don’t want cute bartenders to see me making a mess of myself.

  • 90 beth // Feb 5, 2010 at 3:55 pm

    @jon – Well, that’s completely understandable. If a dude’s wiping his mug with a wet nap, it might be hard to find him super sexy…unless you are a clean freak, I guess.

  • 91 Joe // Feb 5, 2010 at 4:13 pm

    So like wings would be encased in a hard blue cheese candy shell? that sounds good!

  • 92 phil // Feb 25, 2010 at 2:37 pm

    Stolen from a coworker: Horchata & Espresso
    It can be called a Mexicano Blanco.

  • 93 beth // Feb 26, 2010 at 4:07 pm

    @phil that sounds delicious!!

  • 94 Joe // Mar 2, 2010 at 11:12 am

    I found something that I didn’t know existed thanks to Hunch.com.

    You can buy life insurance policies for less then their cash value from people with terminal illnesses who can’t pay for their premiums anymore.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Life_settlement

    It’s real. Lets get paid.

    :-€

  • 95 jon // Mar 12, 2010 at 12:40 pm

    My sister was telling me about her idea for baby bottle cozies and I realized there is an underserved market for the nursing women out there .

    Boob Cozies

  • 96 DirtyDanSin // Mar 15, 2010 at 1:58 pm

    @Joe: That is so messed up…I am in.

  • 97 beth // Mar 17, 2010 at 1:03 pm

    @jon isn’t that just a big pastie?

  • 98 phil // Mar 17, 2010 at 1:21 pm

    Pasties for men. Bald Merkins.

  • 99 jon // Mar 17, 2010 at 1:32 pm

    @ beth It is the opposite of a pastie. The nipple has to be exposed it’s more like a fingerless glove for your breast.

  • 100 beth // Mar 18, 2010 at 1:24 pm

    @ jon ugh! does it stick to the skin?

  • 101 jon // Mar 18, 2010 at 1:50 pm

    @ beth no it’s not sticky it’s goes on like a sock

  • 102 Nick // Apr 4, 2010 at 10:39 am

    1. Map of all the nicest public restrooms in the city.

    2. Carrot Soda

  • 103 chris // Apr 7, 2010 at 2:43 am

    I would run a gogo bar. The guys can attempt to buy the girls drinks, but the bartender would only give the girls non-alcoholic drinks (ie apple juice vs beer), where as the guy would get a stronger than expected drink. The guys would spend the drink minimum of $40, and get totally hammered. Then the girls would steal the remaining cash out the guy’s wallets and give me half. The girls would take the wasted guy to a room upstairs, have the dude strip down, then walk in a big burly man to pose with him for blackmail photos.

    Eventually, we will land politicians and hollywood types… and be rollen in dough.

  • 104 Stace // Apr 16, 2010 at 1:52 pm

    I’m going to make jars where the bottoms can be ‘rolled’ up like chapstick in order for people to get the last bit of peanut butter/mircle whip/honey/etc out of a jar without getting it all over your hand.

  • 105 phil // Apr 19, 2010 at 9:47 am

    @Stace that’s a good one. My new idea is the onion ring chain. It’s a way of sewing onions once they’ve been cut so you can make onion rings that link together. $$$$$.

  • 106 phil // Apr 21, 2010 at 10:46 pm

    Chillzoné. It is to a calzone what a Choco Taco is to a taco.

  • 107 Nick // Apr 22, 2010 at 8:34 am

    Birth control pill boxes that are filled with candy instead of birth control.

    http://www.recyclethis.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/birth_control_container.jpg

  • 108 Joe // Apr 22, 2010 at 8:46 am

    Nick, I think we could sell a multipack of those and “gummy” condoms.

  • 109 phil // Apr 22, 2010 at 11:51 am

    What about condoms with the tops cut off?

  • 110 jake // Apr 22, 2010 at 11:55 am

    What about condoms with an extra layer of loose latex, so they look uncircumcised?

  • 111 Joe // Apr 22, 2010 at 12:27 pm

    You mean so there are two layers of loose baggy latex instead of just one like a regular condom?

  • 112 phil // May 7, 2010 at 2:49 pm

    Cocaine in different colors. For that matter, Gold Medal Flour in different colors.

  • 113 phil // Sep 29, 2010 at 1:52 pm

    Maggotini, it’s a martini with a baby fly in it.

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