in the last 7 days...
phil has 12 comments and is ahead of the game like the national anthem.
beth has 11 comments and is bad to the bone like osteoporosis.
Joe is in your face like your own skull with 8.
Tiffany! has the capabilities to pay the utilities with 8.
prof. fancy pants just wants something to dance to and has 5.
DirtyDanSin has 4 and is on fire like a pile of tires.
jon has 3 comments and needs to raise the stakes like when the camping trip is over.
Stace has only 2 and needs to step up like when the escalator is broken.When was the last time you ate food off the ground? I don’t mean in an airplane or while pole vaulting.
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category: a very serious question
→ 19 answers so far ↓
1
DirtyDanSin
// Jun 30, 2008 at 9:40 am
I think that would be something that I never remember doing.
2
King Zandor
// Jun 30, 2008 at 10:32 am
When I taught High School in NY I watched a kid drop fried chicken on the dirty ass concrete outside of the building and then another kid scoop it up and eat it all happy and pumped about his good fortune. I only eat things off the ground if I drop them inside. I do this on a pretty regular basis. (Sometimes I rinse the off first.)
3
Beth
// Jun 30, 2008 at 10:50 am
On Friday night, Tiffany dropped a piece of the giant It’s-It cake that she made (just the oatmeal cookie part) on our friend’s kitchen floor. She kindly wiped it off and gave it to me. But I knew what was going on; she dropped it right in front of me. Just call me Steven Tyler (Because I’m living on the edge.) yeah. that’s right.
4
NateG
// Jun 30, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Probably when i was a kid. But even back then i was paranoid about the dirt and germs.
so who knows.
5
feverishpoptart
// Jun 30, 2008 at 1:27 pm
I won’t even eat something if it falls on the table. A table at home is fine, but not a public table.
6
hadas
// Jun 30, 2008 at 1:34 pm
on saturday night, my friends and i stole 2 watermelons from safeway in the castro at 4 am and threw them at a bus stop. specifically we threw them at the dumb machine that tells you when the next bus is coming (we called the voice “god”). god was more talkative than phil green, and god only wanted to tell us repeatedly that the 22 bus was coming in an hour and a half. phil green is great and always interesting, and i found out the hard way that god is always seemingly annoying. we tried to light god on fire and kick it. so we threw a few watermelons at god and ate some of the innards.
oh yeah this is AFTER we yelled at the security guards at the mint (the real mint, not the stupid karaoke place that has great selection but you have to hang out with “other people” not just your friends), and we yelled “we want free money!” and “dont shoot us because vincent’s dad started the LA riots and you probably don’t want that!”
oh yeah i wasn’t drunk in the slightest. no booze that night at all.
7
peteg
// Jun 30, 2008 at 2:26 pm
dang, Hadas, wtf do you have against NextBus? NextBus is my homeboy.
It’s been a while since I’ve eaten off the ground. No matter how freshly clean my kitchen floor is, anything that touches it instantly gets a cat hair all up in it.
8
hadas
// Jun 30, 2008 at 3:07 pm
i didn’t actually partake in the destruction, i just laughed A LOT. the problem we had with god (aka next bus) is that it wouldnt shut up. its like geeez we’re just trying to steal food from safeway and have a fruit throwing fight inside the store and maybe yell really loudly at the guards at the mint and see how long it takes to get shot for threatening to steal all the money from the fortress. we reaaaally didn’t want to hear voices telling us about the bus at 4 am. word?
9
Vincent
// Jun 30, 2008 at 4:03 pm
you neglected the fact that after we threw the watermelon at god and it exploded on the ground, we ate the watermelon off the ground and it was HELLA good
10
Joe
// Jun 30, 2008 at 4:39 pm
@hadas, you fuck with nextbus you fuck with me holmes. seriously that is the LCD shit that makes us not be able to have anything cool publicly accessible. ever. your friends probably also break the street fighter controllers, cut the payphone cords, and jam the door to the automatic public bathrooms.
11
Joe
// Jun 30, 2008 at 4:41 pm
As for the question, the last thing i ate off of the floor were some japanese cheetos that I spilled on jake, phil and jason’s kitchen floor yesterday. Its cool though I purified them with hot sauce.
12
Beth
// Jun 30, 2008 at 4:46 pm
@joe you ate off of that kitchen floor? wow. you must have faith in… well. something.
(sorry jake, phil and jason. no real offense meant.)
13
hadas
// Jun 30, 2008 at 5:07 pm
hahaha, ah geez.
a. i didn’t do it. i didn’t even throw the watermelons, which was obv the funniest slash best part..although i suppose im kind of at fault for being there.
b. IT DIDN”T ACTUALLY BREAK, AT ALL. IT TOTALLY S TILL WORKS, 100%
c. i had an exboyfriend who went crazy when i broke up with him and eventually took an axe to a pay phone because the hindu god of destruction told him to do it (or something like that). but the pay phone was in his house, so that’s different ish, plus i think it was REALLLLLY stupid of him. not as stupid as when he threw a toaster at me, but it was still REALLLLLLLLy dumb.
14
Tiffany!
// Jun 30, 2008 at 7:08 pm
@ Beth: In my defense, I did rinse off the side of chocolate that hit the floor… which is far better than I would have done for myself.
I don’t habitually eat things off of the floor, but I don’t shun it entirely. I’m of the opinion that what doesn’t kill ya makes you stronger (this is why I ride Muni, only to build up my immune system to Herculian levels). My sister has a three second rule. Of course it entirely depends on the food and the surrounding. I wouldn’t eat a chip from the floor of El Far, but my famous playland-by the-sea-cake off Sammy’s floor is totally acceptable. I can’t recall the last time I ate something off the ground, but I’d venture to guess I have done it in the last couple of weeks at least.
15
Joe
// Jun 30, 2008 at 7:40 pm
@Beth: I said i purified them in cholula same as I do for cuts or when i have to drink graywater.
16
Beth
// Jun 30, 2008 at 7:58 pm
ha! graywater. that’s poppycock.
17
jake
// Jul 15, 2008 at 1:30 pm
@ Tiffany: I’m on the same page as you wrt things that don’t kill you. If there’s nothing visible (and gross-looking) on it, I’ll eat it.
18
zachary
// Jul 15, 2008 at 3:31 pm
my friend just ate a fry off the ground after trying to show off his “mouth catching” skills. he lost.
19
peteg
// Jul 15, 2008 at 4:26 pm
@jake: i am feeling you. to a degree, I think it’s important to build some gut fortitude.
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