→ 10 answers so far ↓

• 1 DirtyDanSin // Apr 28, 2008 at 11:55 am

  I have worked to teach my kids the following:

  From
  My Own Business
  By William S. Burroughs

  “Brion Gysin, Stewart Gordon, and I were sitting in front of a little Spanish cafe in Tangier when this middle-aged Spaniard walked by, and we all gasped: ‘My God, that’s a harmless-looking person!’ I’d noticed him around town, and spotted him as a real M.O.B.ist: which is nothing special, just minds his own business of staying alive and thinks that what other people do is other people’s business.

  The old hop-smoking rod-riding underworld has a name for it: ‘a member of the Johnson family.’ Wouldn’t rush to the law if he smelled hop in the hall, doesn’t care what fags in the back room are doing, stands by his word. Good man to do business with. They are found in all walks of life. The cop who slipped me a joint in a New Orleans jail, for instance. Or when I was pushing junk in New York back in 1948, the hotel clerk who stopped me in the lobby: ‘I don’t know how to say this, but there is something wrong about the people who come to your room.’ (Something wrong is putting it softly; ratty junkies with no socks, dressed in three boosted suits puffing out, carrying radios torn from the living car, trailing wires like entrails. ‘This isn’t a hock shop!’ I scream. ‘Get this shit out of here!’ Regaining my composure I say severely, ‘You are lowering the entire tone of my establishment.) ‘So I just wanted to warn you to be careful and tell those people to watch what they say over the phone … if someone else had been at the switchboard …’

  And a hotel clerk in Tunis; I handed him some money to put in the safe. He put the money away and looked at me: ‘You do not need a receipt Monsieur.’ I looked at him and saw that he was a Johnson, and knew that I didn’t need a receipt.

  Yes, this world would be a pretty easy and pleasant place to live in if everybody could just mind his own business and let others do the same. But a wise old black faggot said to me years ago: ‘Some people are shits, darling.’ I was never able to forget it.

  Mexican druggist throwing a script back at me: ‘We do not serve dope fiends.’ It’s like Mr. Anslinger said: ‘The laws must express society’s disapproval of the addict.’

  Most of the trouble in this world has been caused by folks who can’t mind their own business, because they have no business of their own to mind, any more than a smallpox virus has …”

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “unnggghhhh!”

• 2 Stefan // Apr 28, 2008 at 12:19 pm

  My friend told me his father only taught him one thing: to always sit with the back against the wall in a bar, so noone can fuck with you from behind. I think that’s all a kid needs to be taught… especially nowadays.

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “that’s what she said!”

• 3 beth // Apr 28, 2008 at 1:29 pm

  I am torn between two lessons:

  1. The golden rule.

  This may seem like a silly way to live your life, but I strive to follow it everyday. I feel that it is a very important lesson that many people have not learned.

  2. “You’ll catch more flies with honey than vinegar.”

  I usually employ this rule as much as possible because it works so well, but it is sometimes difficult. Although, when dealing with Bank of America the other day – I had to be a real big B with them. But I don’t like being a big B, it causes more wrinkles. Besides, being super sweet usually gets me what I want and then some. Maybe it comes easier for some people, but I figure my kids will probably have the same tendencies.

  @Stefan: My dad has always tried to impart similar advice on my brother and I (mostly my brother, though.) His is: “Never sit with your back to the door.” But I don’t mind it, since I am not in the mafia or the old west.

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “I approve of this”

• 4 Tiffany! // Apr 28, 2008 at 6:25 pm

  1) If you must drive, use your blinker for crying out loud.
  2) People who are addicted to things (food, cigarettes, drugs, etc.) are hella weak; deal with your problems and don’t blame others.

  These motherly lessons, are probably a strong show that I don’t have children and am not trying for them.
  And yes, Beth, I said hella.;-)

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “kudos”

• 5 heypal // Apr 28, 2008 at 7:28 pm

  I have two toddler daughters. I believe that self confidence is paramount and that most other things can stem from that base. Self confidence can lead to good decision making and, coupled with curiosity and a good competitive nature, can help with book and street smarts. I don’t need some jackass being able to talk my girls into whoring around because they think he’ll like them, and on a more day-to-day level, I just want them to be leaders and not followers.

  I also think that honey is important, but damned if they won’t be able to back it up with a straight up ass beating if they have to. Karate starts in six months for the older one.

  Interestingly (and this is kind of some soul-searching bullshit), I feel like these are elements of my own growth that I didn’t come into until much later. And while I’d like to think that I came out all right, I think that I would have been more prepared for the world at large had I been given a little more self confidence as a child. My mom did great with what she had, but I’ve got more.

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “unnggghhhh!”

• 6 prof. fancy pants // Apr 28, 2008 at 8:05 pm

  i think it is most important for all children to know that i am not their father (especially those six in texas).

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “black word!”

• 7 Jake // Apr 29, 2008 at 9:51 am

  Both the Golden Rule and the honey/vinegar principle are good answers. Prof. Fancy Pants’ answer is also a very important thing for children to know.

  I’ll teach any kid who wants to listen that they should be responsible for their own actions. First and foremost I’m talking about passing responsibility onto other people. I’m also talking about passing responsibility onto an addiction, as well as (and probably more so) passing responsibility onto God or Yahweh or Allah or some other diety.

  That being said, it’s also important for kids (and people) to know that they’re not responsible for things they can’t control (this includes some cases of addiction).

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “that’s what she said!”

• 8 Marky // Apr 29, 2008 at 2:26 pm

  MOB MOE

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “word”

• 9 Juan // May 5, 2008 at 1:44 pm

  The hardest thing you will ever learn is just to love and to be loved in return

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “that’s what she said!”

• 10 Guess // May 6, 2008 at 9:53 pm

  I would teach my child to learn. Learn anything and everything. I would try to teach them to appreciate all the knowledge that is out their for them to soak in.
  I think an intellectual person is more capable of making good decisions and would, in the end, have a more enjoyable life.

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “kudos”

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