→ 18 answers so far ↓

• 1 Jake // Jan 30, 2008 at 1:12 pm

  I think a natural disaster like an earthquake or a tidal wave or volcano would be acceptable, as long as I got to see some pretty cool stuff before I went.

  For suicide: I’d put Phil in the path of an uncontrolled careening truck, then I’d push him out of the way so that the truck took my life as I saved his.

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “I take my hat off to the person who made this comment”

• 2 Lauren B. // Jan 30, 2008 at 1:43 pm

  in jr. high i decided i’d kill myself at 75 after a day of tennis and sunbathing with a heroin overdose. I’m not sure if im going to stick to this plan. The grandpa in Little Miss Sunshine stole my idea.

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “unnggghhhh!”

• 3 Lauren B. // Jan 30, 2008 at 1:53 pm

  oh and my batshit insane coworker just sent me this: “My great grandmother threw up a massive tape worm into a washbasin and died.” Thats how i dont want to die, if thats part of the question.

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “props”

• 4 Tiffany! // Jan 30, 2008 at 1:58 pm

  I would like to go old and in my sleep because I think its what everyone deems the most peaceful,,, and thus makes the death easier to accept, because no one wants to think of their loved ones in pain. And I like my friends and family and wouldn’t want to put them out with a painful or confusing death. No ‘WHY GOD?!’ issue for me, please.

  As for suicide, I could never ever do it, no matter what (yes I just said those last three words like the Orbitz gum girl). I just think its too selfish. But if someone else who I didn’t care about was asking for a good route for whatever reason… I would probably tell them to jump off the GG bridge because it always reminds me of that child hood mantra parents in Nor Cal say. ex: me:”But Lisa Barbieri is in Kindergarden and SHE got her ears pierced!” mom:”If Lisa jumped off the golden gate bridge, would you?”
  Extra irony points if that person had a friend that did it, prior.

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “word”

• 5 Joe // Jan 30, 2008 at 2:04 pm

  It doesn’t really matter how I want to die because how I am going to die is already obvious. I think it is pretty clear that I will die protecting my salvage cache of drinking water and canned food from a slightly larger salvage gang. I am going to delay this as long as possible by stockpiling M1A rifles and pro-actively burying 50 gallon drums of ammo, gas, food, and water in various drop spots on current BLM land.

  I am also training myself to recognize over 500 types of edible roots in the native Californian wilderness. I WILL WELCOME THE STORM!!!

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “that’s what she said!”

• 6 Phoebe // Jan 30, 2008 at 2:49 pm

  I’d like to be bored to death. I mean, I obviously wouldn’t enjoy it, I’m just in love with the idea of someone telling me a long, monotonous story about this thing that happened at work or this dream they had and I would just keel over and stop breathing. They would feel so stupid.

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “props”

• 7 TLR // Jan 30, 2008 at 3:20 pm

  I want to die in the least painful way that I can so I imagine that something like dying in my sleep or having my head severed from my body would be at the top of the list. Drowning is very close to the bottom though.

  As far as suicide, I would use a high caliber handgun to minimize the chance of me fucking up.

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “black word!”

• 8 Dirty Dan Sin // Jan 30, 2008 at 3:40 pm

  I’ll take a heart attack in my sleep just like grandpa.

  I’m no suicide, but I believe in a combo of pills and the plastic bag over the noggin…while listening to this vocals-only track of Runnin’ With The Devil

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “I take my hat off to the person who made this comment”

• 9 ariel // Jan 30, 2008 at 3:42 pm

  I supposed I have always imagined wanted my own death to be a tragic situation of epic proportions; some sort of battle to the death between perfectly matched enemies (physical or metaphorical) set to a tear-jerking musical score. The world would grieve and bemoan its loss, but ultimately my death (and those of the thousands of people who died fighting for/against me) would find inspiration in the celebration of my life.

  In reality, I imagine my death will be probably be painful, mildly humorous, and not-at-all historically significant.

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “hooray!”

• 10 doeeyedmonster // Jan 30, 2008 at 4:07 pm

  In the middle of the best orgasm ever!

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “props”

• 11 Dave // Jan 30, 2008 at 4:41 pm

  I’d probably prefer the natural disaster route too. Maybe even with some science fiction thrown in ala Cloverfield or War of the Worlds. Maybe a giant spider-bot laser to the chest. Instant death sounds the best.

  If I ever wanted to die before my time, I’d probably pay a professional to do it so I didn’t fuck it up. I’d want to be very drunk at the time as well. I don’t want to know what it feels like to die, and preferably not when it’s exactly going to happen either.

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “I approve of this”

• 12 kami // Jan 31, 2008 at 12:12 pm

  Maybe a motorcycle wreck, painless as possible. Or in a zombie attack. I’d grab my guns and ammo, smuggled from florida, and join Joe.

  As far as suicide goes…. I’d fill my veins with a fuck ton of Heroin while having some awesome sex! OOOOOOO, even better, go out Thelma and Louise style with a close homegirl. Fuck yeah!

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “kudos”

• 13 philip // Jan 31, 2008 at 12:40 pm

  Atomic blast, or maybe I jump on a grenade to save others.

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “hooray!”

• 14 chy. // Jan 31, 2008 at 12:57 pm

  I’d like to die in a plane crash. It seems like it’d be thrilling.
  Unfortunately, I die in a car wreck by Squaw Rock in a couple years.

  If I were going to kill myself, I’d probably take a shit-ton of pills. Or maybe hang myself. My old apartment in Long Beach had the perfect spot to hang oneself but I never got around to it.

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “[applause]“

• 15 beth // Jan 31, 2008 at 4:56 pm

  I suppose death in my sleep sounds nice. Some sort of instant, painless death that occurs while saving a bus full of children wouldn’t be too shabby either.

  I couldn’t kill myself or even begin to seriously think about how I’d go about it.

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “word”

• 16 Anonymous // Jan 31, 2008 at 8:38 pm

  On my feet, like a Klingon!

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “kudos”

• 17 ANDY GRANELLI // Jan 31, 2008 at 9:05 pm

  I will be with Joe, therefore, I will die of old, old age.

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “real talk”

• 18 Kdaug // Feb 1, 2008 at 2:10 pm

  I would be taking a walk on Ocean Beach on a chilly yet sunny day. I would be wearing a faux fur coat, sunglasses, and the ends of the scarf holding my hair back would drift behind me in the slight breeze. Just as I paused to look at the horizon, an escaped Bengal tiger from the San Francisco zoo would pounce on me. The tiger would then carry me in her mouth, like she would her own baby, out to sea, beyond the line of the horizon. The End! My obituary headline would read. “She died as she lived: by the paws of a tiger.”

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “real talk”

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