→ 13 answers so far ↓

• 1 Tiffany! // Dec 18, 2007 at 12:14 pm

  Hmmm I feel like I should say my husband, but we have really different interests so it would get irksome (me having to sit there through rocket science converstaions, and him having to sit through literary lectures…)
  I would either go with my friend Bremyhr who is pretty much my siamese twin when we are around eachother (we get on exceedingly well and know how to deal with eachother), or one of my musician friends because then I could get to hear music for free all the time.
  Yeah, I’m that cheap. I mean, ‘frugal.’ And my friends are pretty much the best.

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “real talk”

• 2 Tomo // Dec 18, 2007 at 1:15 pm

  Sarah Nevada Smith. Because she rules and I will never tire of her. Also bills will be easy to pay.

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “that’s what she said!”

• 3 Lauren B. // Dec 18, 2007 at 1:44 pm

  thanks jake!

  my best friend emily, because we already can finish each others sentences and have discussed who would carry the child (now we both could). also, shes cute so i wouldnt mind having to have a threesome with her every time i hooked up. shes a vegetarian too , so there wouldnt be meat arguments. Shes a good dancer, so at least half of our limbs could get down on the dance floor.

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “[applause]“

• 4 Phoebe // Dec 18, 2007 at 1:59 pm

  I wouldn’t want to share a body with anyone I know or like because it would ruin our relationship. I would ask this malicious outer-space God to give me a few days to find the dumbest, sweetest, most manipulatable and quiet human being before I am conjoined with anyone. Then I could ensure all my future shot-calling and bossiness.

  I would probably find this person at church or a Mitt Romney rally.

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “I take my hat off to the person who made this comment”

• 5 Juan // Dec 18, 2007 at 2:06 pm

  I would pick the god from outer space. That would be rad.

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “real talk”

• 6 kim // Dec 18, 2007 at 2:57 pm

  My cat. He’s the only organism that I’m cool with being in the same room with me while I poop.

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “that’s what she said!”

• 7 Jake // Dec 18, 2007 at 4:10 pm

  I think I’d have to choose a friend rather than take a chance with a stranger. After some serious thinking, I’ve decided on Victor.

  It’s not because I like him the most or anything, it’s just that I think we have somewhat similar tastes and attitudes in the areas that matter most to me. Also, he’s less bull-headed than I so there wouldn’t be too much conflict. And somehow I’m not as averse to having him masturbate me as I am with my other friends.

  I’d probably ask him to lay off the booze and pot a little, though.

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “I approve of this”

• 8 Sarah // Dec 18, 2007 at 5:36 pm

  Tomo. because she always laughs when i say “balls” and “gays” and “handos” over and over every single day.

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “kudos”

• 9 prof. fancy pants // Dec 18, 2007 at 6:51 pm

  as much as i want to reciprocate jake’s post, i don’t know if i could handle him snoring in my ear for the rest of my life. also, i like sleeping and jake likes coffee. furthermore, it would suck to be up all night trying to play last man standing with jake right next to me (i would never win). that would lead me to drink/toke more causing jake to pass out and snore. i’d never get laid.

  also, who’s body do we get? mine or the other persons? it took me 32 years to get comfortable with this body, i don’t want to take someone else’s. i might take some hot lady as my twin if i get her body, but i really don’t want to imagine jake looking sincerely into my eyes whilst jamming up my new womanhood.

  now that i think about it, i think i’d like an autistic savant to be my partner (this might just qualify you yet, jake). i would like someone that we could win all the free pitchers and garlic fries and coors light merch on trivia night.

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “kudos”

• 10 Joe // Dec 19, 2007 at 4:40 am

  As much as I was touched by Jake’s loving post toward Victor, and while I think that both Jake and Victor make great housemates, I think anyone chosing any of us to conjoin to them is nuts.

  Phoebe probably had the right idea but I think I would chose Stephen Hawking. If I was lucky this vengeful god would conjoin him to my back so I could wear him around like a backpack. In this configuration he could do without his chair and, with his reduced body mass, we could cruise around pretty comfortably.

  I am convinced that Steve, with his vast mental capabilities, could learn to control my mouth with his brain so I could talk for him and people wouldn’t have to agonize while he tried to type with his eyes at lectures.

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “unnggghhhh!”

• 11 Tiffany! // Dec 19, 2007 at 9:00 am

  Above comment may have been the funniest thing that I have ever read, or at least the best mental picture. If it isn’t then I have just spat my tea out (to stop it going through my nose.. Hey! I’m a lady!) for no good reason.

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “kudos”

• 12 beth // Dec 21, 2007 at 12:42 am

  I’m pretty sure I would despise being a conjoined twin. My answer is um…no. Because even imagining it is agonizing Joe’s answer rocks though. 2 gold stars!

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “word”

• 13 feverishpoptart // Dec 21, 2007 at 2:37 am

  My friend Michelle. She is my other. We are almost the same person anyway. She also lives in London, and if we were conjoined I wouldn’t miss her all the time.

  current votes: 0 vote if this makes you say “black word!”

You must log in to comment. I tried it the other way and had to erase 1,000 ads for viagra and mortgages one by one. Register here, it takes less than ten seconds.